Perspective over Sake



A good friend came in from out of town and we had dinner. The making of a great meal go beyond the quality of the food. I believe atmosphere and conversation are also tenets of a memorable meal.

With the wall to lean against, in the last two seats of a well worn sushi bar, we enjoyed omakase at it's finest (search my blog for what omakase is). The head sushi chef took care of us like I've never experienced. He meticulously prepared bizzare specialities such as raw monk fish liver; fried mini-crabs, which he took out by the handfuls from a vase sitting on the counter; or fresh Japanese mackeral, which he passionately explained was different from the standard kind most people get to eat. And of course the ginger was plentiful and wasabi was freshly grounded from the root (no power stuff here!).


All that great food was washed down by a trio sample of some of the best sake I've ever had. Glasses of delicately refined Japanese wine flavored with exotic substances such as "chrysanthemum water" varied in sweetness and finish. As if that wasn't enough, the owner decided to give us a taste of his family's private Sake brand, with a secret recipe passed down for generations. His face was even on the bottle!


We sat from 6 to almost 10 (they open at 6 and cl

We decided to forgo the original plan of a quick dinner followed by a screening of X-Files on the Fox Studio lot. Instead we sat there from 6 to almost closing time, chatting about every topic under the sun. From recession to work, to investments, to the other patrons in the restaurants. And inevitably, relationships. He recentely came out of a relationship and I recently entered into one. So our perspectives are somewhat polar, which of course made for interesting discussions.

Play-by-play aside, I walked away from the dinner with a lot to think about. I realized a successful romantic relationship must have outside interefence. That is, two people cannot spend every waking moment together - they must have interests or hobbies outside of the relationship. It is unhealthy to be in a relationship where both people try to spend every moment outside of work together.

Furthermore, having similar interests is not paramount for success in a relationship. I hear from friends who describe their relationships as, "..we think alike!" or "we like the same things." That's not necessarily a must have, though it makes it easy for someone to become infatuated with another - which can quickly dissolve over time.

I realize in the past I spent too much effort to be in the significant other's life. I convince myself that I enjoy something or want to be something that I really don't want to be - all in a pathetic effort to be someone that I am not. The result is that my passive aggressive nature rears itself, harboring negative feelings which manifests itself as half-heartedness or bad attitude. Believe me, this is not a gender-specific occurrence.

SHE SAYS: How about Thai Food for dinner! I love Thai!
I THINK: I hate Thai.
I SAY: Sure, no problem.
SHE THINKS: Wow, we like the same type of food, that's great!
I THINK: I like Thai, I like Thai, I like Thai

(this would make an interesting movie idea...)

This actually happened to me before. Of course this is an oversimplification, but I hope the point is made. Of course during dinner the "you-don't-seem-to-enjoy-your-food" conversation came up and it got kind of ugly. I will never let this happen again.

If a couple enjoys something, it should happen naturally, when and IF the time is right. No use playing with the will of God.

It is always wise to seek advice or perspective. Who knew such a realization would happen at a sushi bar.