National Watermelon Promotion Board

National Watermelon Promotion Board

In the spirit of spontaneity, I went to a nearby Japanese market known for its fresh produce/fruits to scavenge for a reasonably healthy dinner. As thoughts of a fresh spinach salad with walnuts swim in my head, I brave the South Coast Saturday evening traffic on my quest.

Among the throngs of well-dressed OC-ites on the cusp of an evening on the town, I must have looked silly in my smelly flip flops, jogging shorts, and t-shirt advertising the health benefits of ursine urine. But I don't care because I'm stubbornly on a mission to satisfy gastronomic desires.

Entering the market, I am hit with a smell not common to supermarket. Instead of the subtle smells of bread, fragrant fruits, and cool steel cans of fava beans, I smelled the inside of a Hello Kitty store, the notorious merchant of overpriced stuffed animals and cute Japanese accessories for the stylish 8 year old girl. A mix of bubblegum and car air freshener causes hesitation and I wonder if I am in the right place.

The single watermelon sitting on an empty display bring my wandering nose back to reality, and the task at hand.

This was not just a watermelon sitting among oblong companions, crushing each other like hatched baby chickens. This watermelon was a loner, the remnant of a big sale sitting there watching its fellow melons get picked up by shoppers. No doubt this guy had been tapped, nudged, and squeezed all day, only to be pushed aside so that another melon could be selected.

At that moment, I felt a connection with that watermelon. Me on my solo quest to get something tasty to eat, hoping the right food will tempt me to take it home. And the watermelon, sitting there hoping to catch the eye of a shopper willing to look past the smudges, bruises, and pale outside - which no doubt hid a sweet tasting inside. I could only imagine if the watermelon were conscious, overcome with the feeling of loneliness and inadequacy like the last kid picked in a game of dodge ball.

Last week I was surprised when a tiny Japanese couple hauled away the last watermelon with I turned my back. Their look of, "you snooze, you loose" will forever be etched in my mind and I swore to never lose another fruit again. So even without the requisite squeeze to ensure its sweetness, I quickly lay claim the watermelon by putting it in my shopping cart.

Straight to the checkout line I go. No perusing the Pocky Sticks, day-old sushi, or weird Japanese soft drinks.

The watermelon tipped the scales at 39lbs! This sucker is huge and I immediately thought of all the ways I could enjoy watermelon for the next week: Soup, sorbet, frozen, juice, and of course my favorite, standing over the sink at 1am chomping down the icy sweet melon - the best cure for insomniacs, better than warm milk.

Could too much of a good thing ruin the experience?

Listen Live | 89.3 KPCC

Listen Live | 89.3 KPCC

Awesome that I can listen to NPR during the day. So cool!! I can get the latest news on the overpaid officials in Bell, CA. Or whatever spat Nancy Pelosi and Charles Rangel are getting into.

And the traffic reports make me feel good about my short commute. I especially enjoy the Friday 5pm traffic reports. Thinking about all those folks sitting in traffic, while I have my 15 minute commute.

I'm glad I donated money to KPCC/NPR this year. I think next year, I will wait until they have a cool giveaway, and donate more.

A friend asked me what "Being a Sharp Person" means. At the time, without context, I really couldn't answer her. That questions did get me thinking about a few things.

Turns out she was referring to using the word "sharp" to describe someone of the opposite sex, as in whether that person is date-able.

At first, I thought a sharp person is someone with the four "A's" - Accomplished, Ambitious, Attractive, and Affluent. The perfect combination of brains, brawns, beauty, and bucks. How sad it is that we reference these attributes to decide whether we want to even give that person a chance.

I find it funny that someone who may be lacking in all these areas, would think that someone with all the four "A's" would want them.  You see couples walking around and think, "How much is he paying for that girl?"  Or, "She must be 'easy' or he wouldn't be with her."  The fact is, each party brings something to the table which apparently the other person wants.  The 3rd party may observe and not understand how that match could have possibly happened, but to those two people, they were made for each other.

Men are visual animals and women must understand that.  Catch our eyes and the chase is on.  So if you're a woman and you don't cut it in that looks department, what do you do?  The answer is simple - you'd better make sure you are making up for your looks by excelling in other areas.

I look in the morning every morning and am reminded that I don't look like George Clooney.  I'm more of a cross between Kevin James and Andy Dick.

I get my monthly bank statements and am reminded that I am not rich like Bill Gates.  I'm more of a MC Hammer, without the parachute pants.

The list of my shortcomings could go on and on.  The point is, I'm far from perfect.  But I think I increase my desirability factor with higher scores in other areas, and I am grateful for what I do have.

My message to women who are out there looking for that perfect "sharp" guy:  Look in the mirror first and ask yourself - would your ideal sharp guy be interested in someone like yourself?  Remember, the ways in which you decide to measure who is good enough for you, are the same ways he will use to decide if he wants to be with you.  Change how you measure others, and you will find they will be more open to you.

Oh yeah, and drop that attitude.  It's a big turn-off.

Why would someone cut you off for no reason, then give you the finger? That person must be having a really bad day. Maybe he or she needs a hug.

Last week was fraught with run-ins with idiotic drivers. What would compel the state to grant these people rights to drive a 3000 pound killing machine baffles me.

I will go for weeks of blissful driving, with apparent idiot driver repellent going strong.

Then all of a sudden, a careless driver will bring out the monster within. I become more critical of other bad drivers. My driving patterns become increasingly aggressive. And I find myself glaring at other people who are causing traffic congestion.

Seems like negativity on the road is very catchy.